Bright-eyed and Bushy-tailed
Life has a way of taking you down roads you didn’t want to go and amazing you with everything you didn’t know you wanted.
As a teenager, my firm and unshakeable belief was that the world was my oyster; I could have and be anything I wanted. I had never really failed at anything and it showed – I was arrogant, vindictive and ambitious!
So in order to valiantly change the world, I chose to study law, human rights law to be specific. I wanted to be Amal Clooney before she was a thing. But life, or God rather, had different plans.
Lessons in Humility
Although I did make into law school it was the path to one of Zimbabwe’s universities called NUST that I was reluctantly dragged, and there I studied a BComm Honours Degree in Finance.
Both institution and programme taught me humility – the kind of humility you can only learn from repetitive failure and disappointment. The world stopped being my oyster and life became something I had no control over, something to endure. That was probably the darkest period of my life.
Six years later and my degree in hand, I finally learnt that success delayed was not success denied. Failure and disappointment were not the end, if you were willing to keep trying. It took me six years to complete a four-year degree that I didn’t even want, but the lessons I learnt in that season of life made me stronger in ways I can’t adequately express.
I went from being a pampered princess to being a warrior and that doesn’t happen unless you live through some tough stuff.
My twenties were nothing like I’d anticipated, but that doesn’t diminish what I accomplished. The marriage by 25, done having kids by 30 and back working by 35 didn’t happen. I never would have seen that coming because I still didn’t understand that I wasn’t in control; I was so darn entitled.
They say hindsight is 20/20. I can clearly see that God has an interesting sense of humour; He tends to turn our greatest disappointments into some of his greatest triumphs.
After a couple of failed relationships in my late 20s and early 30s I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself and my relationship with God.
I was so broken.
In that season I started to journal as a way to process life. My journal turned into a blog and the blog eventually turned into a career change from the dreaded finance to content creation and writing.
I wouldn’t have picked writing for myself, it never was my dream. Creativity requires vulnerability and vulnerability requires more courage than I could master save by the grace of God.
By its very nature my work often gets rejected, overlooked and doesn’t gain the kind of traction I hope for; but I just love doing what I do so much such that none of that even matters. I write for the pleasure of writing and that’s enough, for now.
The Pursuit of Goodness and Love
What dreams and hopes do I hold for the future? I don’t know to be honest. Once again I am faced with a transitional season and I am not too sure where it will lead me.
It feels like I have been swept away by a tidal wave with no clue on which shore I will wash up.
All I know is that God is ever present, and he will lead me down the paths of righteousness for HIS name’s sake and wherever I end up, goodness and love shall surely be there too.
Will there be books, a husband, children and world domination? Who knows?! What I do know is that all things are possible to him who believes.
This is the second post of a series of featured posts that I’ve been doing. Please find the first one here.