Posted in Musings

This is your life

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

~This is your life, Switchfoot

Continue reading “This is your life”

Posted in Daily Prompts, Travel

Solitude

Source: Solitary https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/solitary/

No one tells you that travelling and/or relocating, whilst exciting, will expose you to a loneliness that you haven’t known before.

Solitary explorations. Solitary experiences. Solitude.

At first you will try to fill in the gaps with anything. With everything.

But hush..learn and understand that exploration of some parts of  the world, and of your soul, are best done in solitude.

Learn to enjoy moments of solitude. Stop scrolling through your phone to while up time. Stop doing chores and running errands. Stop being busy with everything and nothing at the same time.

But simply be. Simply be in solitude.

Posted in Hobbies

Confectionery goodness

Exploring hobbies is fun. I’ve recently started baking for income, not just to consume at home. It’s a lot of pressure to get that cupcake baked well, or to get the right frosting consistency, but at the end of it all there’s so much satisfaction. I think I’m really enjoying the prospect of turning this into a business some day, and I hope I will! For now, I’ll simply put up pics of cupcakes I baked for my husband’s workmate and hope it inspires you to explore whatever hobby(s) you have; you never know where it may lead.

 

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I recently acquired a stand mixer with a detachable hand mixer; it’s not top of the range quality but it gets the job done!

 

Baking (1)
I was so nervous about these cupcakes I couldn’t wait for them to cool down before I could try one. Turns out I had nothing to worry about ūüôā

 

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These were a 2nd batch I made. The centre was sunken in (I suspect it’s my oven temperature) but I managed to cover them up with cream cheese frosting.

 

Baking (8)
I’m still debating whether or not chocolate cupcakes work best with buttercream frosting or cream cheese frosting. So far I think I prefer buttercream frosting. How about you?
Posted in Musings

Soul Voyaging

Stop and start

In a world that is constantly advertising¬†images of what one’s¬†life should look like, how does one find and hang onto their true identity? I’ve learnt that it’s a journey, and as I progress in life I’m starting to learn that it very well might be a journey with no¬†end. Our souls are deep, complex and multifaceted; there’s always something new that we’re learning about ourselves. The challenge, I think, is to stop consuming the garbage that is constantly thrown at us and start the journey of deeper self-discovery. To be aware that we are on a journey and to be intentional about enjoying it.

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We’re all different

A few years ago I stumbled upon a truth that was liberating and life-changing. The truth was that I wasn’t created to be the best of Ruth, or the best of Yevukai, or the best of anybody. I was created to be the best of me! And me alone. Constantly comparing myself with, and finding my identity in, those around me was an increasingly frustrating and futile task. Therefore, discovering that there was a me-shaped hole in the world that only I could fill was very liberating. I didn’t have to measure myself using the wrong standards – all I had to do was to work at discovering more of who I was and to live life as the very best of me. What.A.Relief.

Another truth I’ve been learning and re-learning is that I don’t have to live up to the world’s definition of who I should or shouldn’t be. We’re all different from birth and we grow up in different settings with various triumphs and challenges and, overall, we have different life experiences. It’s ridiculous to propose a standard template for non-standard beings. Yet that’s what society proposes at every turn. We’re given templates for every stage of our lives right from birth, to primary school, to high school, to university…to death. We’re constantly being told what our lives should look like, who we should look like, what our opinions should be, what our possessions should be. It’s all standard. And it’s all ridiculous. We’re way too complex (in a good way) for standard templates. We should be free to explore the dimensions of our souls without fallible, man-made templates being imposed on us. And I think we begin this journey of exploration by first realising that we’re different and our journeys in life are different. And that’s a really good thing.

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Unlearn in order to learn

The next step is to acknowledge that in order to learn who we are, we must be willing to unlearn who we thought we were. A passage from one of my fave reads comes to mind:

‚Äú‚ÄôDoes freedom mean that you are allowed to do whatever you want to do? Or we could talk about the limiting influences in your life that actively work against your freedom. Your family genetic heritage, your specific DNA, your metabolic uniqueness, the quantum stuff that is going on at a subatomic level where only I am the always present observer. Or the intrusion of your soul‚Äôs sickness that inhibits and binds you, or the social influences around you, or the habits that have created synaptic bonds and pathways in your brain. And then there‚Äôs advertising, propaganda, and paradigms. Inside that confluence of multifaceted inhibitors,‚Äô she sighed, ‚Äėwhat is freedom really?‚Äô‚ÄĚ
‚Äú‚Äô‚ĶFreedom is an incremental process. ‚Ķthe Truth shall set you free and the Truth has a name; he‚Äôs (Jesus)… Everything is about him. And freedom is a process that happens inside a relationship with him. Then all that stuff you feel churnin‚Äô around inside will start to work its way out.‚Ä̬†– The Shack, W.P Young

Though it talks about the true meaning of freedom, I find it easy to apply it also to my¬†self-discovery journey. Who I thought I was or should be is not who I really am. Possessions, body image, qualifications, bank balance, business colleagues and acquaintances. These are the standards by which¬†we’ve allowed society to define us. We’ve attached a huge deal of our identity in external, temporary and material things. Yet the journey to deeper self-discovery must start with our Creator and it should revolve around thought patterns, attitudes, values, principles, sense of self worth, life experiences, family and friends. And this list is nowhere near exhaustive. We are so much more than we think we are!

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My journey

I’ve found my journey to be challenging and rewarding at the same time. I hadn’t realised how much of my identity I had attached to my job, title at work, status in society, material possessions etc. And now that I’m currently without a job in a foreign country I’ve had to ask myself hard questions like – Who am I when I have no structure in the form of a job to hide behind and pretend that I’ve got it together? Who am when I’m all alone from 8am to 6pm all day every day? Who am I when I’m not around those I’ve known all my life? Who am I¬†when I have nothing familiar in my surroundings to soothe the discontent within me and to find security in? Who am I when I meet new people with whom I have nothing in common?

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An end to the journey..?

I don’t think so. As difficult as it’s been, I’ve enjoyed embarking on my self-discovery journey. My soul has so many facets that I might not discover all of them this side of eternity; and that’s alright.¬†What isn’t alright is being¬†content with a standard template for a multifaceted soul. I must continue voyaging and discovering.¬†To the very end. And I hope you do too.

Posted in Musings

The sheltered life

Bursting bubbles

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Do you ever feel like you’re living a sheltered life..? Living in your own little bubble within which you find your small circle of friends and family, maybe your workplace and that’s about it. I can relate to that. And I can also relate to the sheltered life’s chief problem- being divorced from the reality that surrounds you.¬†A life that is divorced from your next door neighbour’s plight, or your countryman’s suffering in another part of the country, or the prejudices suffered by the tens of people you meet everyday. That’s why I want to change but I’m not sure how to burst this bubble.

 

The problem with the sheltered life

 

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Where I come from, it’s a survival mechanism to live in a bubble. Zimbabwe has descended, and continues to descend even further, into a desperate¬†state of political, economic and social chaos. So¬†an escape/survival mechanism that I learnt was to create my bubble and try as much as possible to separate myself from the misrule that surrounded me. Apart from paying my taxes I wanted nothing else to do with the government. But the unforeseen drawback of this bubble creation and sustenance was that I also divorced myself from anyone around me who hadn’t created a sufficient coping mechanism like mine and was therefore left unsheltered from the whims of those in power. I divorced myself from the reality surrounding me. The average (poor) person on the street, the homeless, the outcasts, the abused. As a result I’ve found that¬†I cannot seem to readily relate to those who are different from me in financial status, societal level, or life experiences. I was so successful in disassociating myself from the system that I also successfully disassociated myself from those who are helpless victims of it. And I hate it.

Reality check

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I’d like to step out of this bubble, I don’t need nor want it anymore. I’d like to reach out to those who can’t create bubbles to protect themselves because they simply do not have the resources to do so. I’d like to lend a hand and make a difference where I can, and have my reality checked in the process. I’m just not sure how to. Are there any of you out there who relate to this post? I’d love to hear what your experience has been and how you’re overcoming the sheltered life, please share in the comments section.

Posted in Homesick, Musings

Of heart longings

Rain and misty mornings

It rained all night last night. When you’re in a generally arid and hot country like Namibia, it means everything to have rains and cool weather, trust me. This morning we woke up to a beautiful misty view in our backyard; we couldn’t even see the hills that are about a kilometre away from our house. I’ve said in a previous post that water in all its forms never fails to soothe me so last night and this morning were absolutely glorious. I even threw out my usual routine – instead of getting up at 6am to run and then get the house in order and the get some digital marketing work done and then and then and then.. I slept in! I eventually got up to make myself a cup of tea and I had it with a slice of carrot cake. Then I read… Glorious doesn’t really begin to describe my day today.

 

Heart conversations

At some point during the course of the day I had a chat conversation with a good friend of mine. A combination of the soothing weather, a good cup of coffee and a¬†deep heart questions made me long all over again for the friendships that I left back home in Zim. Whilst my new life here is progressing fairly well, I had a deep yearning for what seemed lost in friendships past. That sense of belonging, comfort and identity when you’re amongst those you love and understand and those who love and understand you back. In fact, my conversation today made my heart yearn for every deeply satisfying moment I’ve shared with friends – a bottle of red wine, a warm fire, good food, hearty laughs, carefree dancing, heart soothing conversations. I haven’t found that yet here. And I know that¬†such deep relationships grow after years of doing life together. So I’ll learn to wait. To wait for the years to pass as I build lasting relationships in¬†this place that I now call home.

 

Rest in this season

On a similar note¬†I’m also learning to simply rest. And that is why this morning was quite a satisfying achievement for me. Instead of¬†filling my days with unnecessary busyness and fretting, I’m learning to rest and enjoy the present. To rest in my solitude. To rest in my learning. To rest in this season. For I’m sure there will come a time when I’m too busy to even think. Therefore I shall learn to wait and to rest whilst I wait. And enjoy this beautiful weather!

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